Women Don't Respect Themselves

Ok, I'm sure we've all seen the VH1 News special, Hip Hop Videos: Sexploitation on the Set. If you haven't, look it up. Basically, the show told the ins and outs of what happens on the set and behind the scenes at the taping of hip hop music videos, mainly from the perspective of the video vixens. Also, the author of Confessions of a Video Vixen, Karrine Steffans, was able to tell her side of the story, which is told in more detail in her book. (Why she felt the need to write a book and still make money from tell-all stories about her sexual acts, who knows). However, as I watched the show, for the second time, I became frustrated and outraged. I was sickened by the sight of my black sisters exploiting their bodies just to be seen 15 seconds on a little television screen. For what?
I in no way would totally blame the male-driven hip hop industry; however, they do need to take some of the blame as well. I firmly believe that many of these women suffer from low self-esteem and they were never taught to respect themselves. Who in their right mind makes it a lifetime goal to be in a video and to be recognized for their body. Some say it opens the door for them to get into the entertainment business. If you want to be an actress, singer, dancer, model, then do just that. Take acting classes, take singing lessons, go to a dance class, and take your portfolio to a modeling agency, don't go for the quick fix. Because the quicker you get in to the business, the quicker you'll get washed out.
In our society women are taught to sell their bodies. Look at the clothes that have strategically placed writing on the T&A area of the body. Why do we need to walk around with shirts that say "delicious" or "bootylicious"? Really, someone tell me, what is the point. Even low-rise jeans which we are forced to wear because that's the only style of jeans that the clothing industry is selling right now. We might as well just walk around in our underwear, because that's how skimpy the clothes are now. Most women today look like hookers on the street, and I don't like it.
The club scene. Tell me if this sounds familiar. An uneven ratio of men to women at the club, the women are in the center dancing while the men stand up against the wall scoping out the girl who has the best "meat", the girls are showing cleavage galore and wearing tight fitted low-rise pants that show their thong when they bend over and the men are wearing baggy jeans and two layers of shirts that hide their physique, the girl who can "drop it like it's hot" will dance with the majority of men at the club while the girl who just wants to do the simple two step is looked over. Tell me, what's wrong with that picture. Women need to stop with the lame excuse that they're dressing that way for themselves, ladies, admit it, we're program to dress that way to catch a man's eye, because we're programmed to be in competition with each other...which brings me to my next point.
Flava of Love has to be the worst show for women on the face of this earth. It is filled with insecure, low self-esteem, confused women who are competiting for a washed-up celebrity's "love". How do you compete for love, either it's there or it isn't? These women were obviously scorned at some point in their lives, so they're searching for attention, but they ended up in the wrong place. For instance, one woman was brought to tears after she reminisced about a broken marriage in which her husband told her, to her face, "You're not the one...I'm not in love with you." So now, she's on this show, looking for love, in all the wrong places. But the charming Flava Flav, a man who can't even remember their birth given names, gives them "cute" nicknames that describe their personality or the way their body looks. Would you really want to love a man who doesn't even take the time to remember your real name?
Hopefully, No is your answer.
Women, it is time to wake up. Don't blame the man, blame yourself for allowing someone to treat you like dirt, and pass you around like a little toy. Don't let a man call you out of your name and keep your eye out for the dirty tricks they like to play. And men, stop taking advantage of these insecure women, what does that say about you and your manhood if you sleep with a woman who doesn't respect herself, maybe that means you don't respect yourself enough to have a substantial relationship with a woman who does respect herself. Somebody has to end this viscious cycle, who's up for it?