And the Oscar Goes to...

Now this stuff is right up my alley. It's Oscars time ladies and gentlemen. So the nominees in the major categories were announced early this morning, and if you ask me it was not a surprise. Brokeback Mountain is leading in the number of nominations, eight to be exact. Best Movie, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress (yes, there are women in this film), Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay, just to name a few. It also received a nomination for Best Original Score which it won at the Golden Globes. They say the Golden Globes usually predicts who will win big at the Oscars so it looks like Brokeback Mountain will win best director and best movie (since Walk the Line wasn't nominated in any of these categories).

Now surprise, surprise, another black actor was nominated for playing a role that most parents would not want their child to grow up to be. That's right, Terrence Howard was nominated for his role as a Tennessee pimp in the critically-acclaimed Hustle&Flow. Now I must admit, I do want to see this movie again, only because the first time I saw it I was distracted by the presence of two elderly white women who seemed to be enjoying the music in the movie more than me. Granted they were a sight to see, but I couldn't enjoy the movie because I was so busy laughing at their waving in their air, waving them like they just didn't care. However, from what I did see, Terrence Howard did an exceptional job becoming his character. I really did believe that he was a pimp who had some beats in his head that he just had to get out, he really wanted to express himself and tell his story.

Crash is close behind Brokeback Mountain with six nominations. My prediction is that it might have peaked too early for some people, and it might not get the recognition it deserves. It is up for Best Movie, Best Director, and Best original Score.

Overall, it should be an exciting night for the Academy Awards, it could really go either way. I guess we'll just have to tune in on March 5 to see who's going home home with Mr. Oscar.

List of nominees

Independent Women?

So the other day, I received an e-mail which encouraged me to be comfortable as a proud, black, non-married, single woman who has a strong faith in God. The e-mail also told me that I had nothing to be ashamed of if I didn't have a man in my life, and that my "king" was still being prepared by God. Now the e-mail is encouraging, don't get me wrong, but I wonder if any proud, black, non-married, single men who have a strong faith in God get the same type of e-mail. My guess is that they don't.

Society is always "soothing" the single woman who hasn't been in a relationship in a long time. How many of us have watched an Oprah episode that told us what men are thinking or what they want in a relationship? How many of us have bought the self-help books that give us tips on how to find "Mr. Right"? How many of us have attended seminars that tell us how to live a happy, single life (however, if you find a man as a result of a seminar then you're a success)? It's seems to me that a single woman has some sort of disease that needs to be treated by these books, seminars, and e-mails. Which is ridiculous.

What annoys me is that people measure a woman's success or existence based on her ability to be in an intimate relationship with a man. There have been so many times at family gatherings or at church when I was asked if I had a boyfriend. When the answer was "No" I would get the response "It's okay, don't rush it, he'll come in time." Well, if it's okay and I'm not suppose to rush it, why do people feel the need to ask me this question, right after saying hello?

Women are encouraged to find their one true love while men are encouraged to "test the waters." It's as if the woman has to maintain her purity for that one man, the man who was encouraged to be with as many women to strengthen his manhood. What bugs me is when women have this "I am woman, hear me roar" attitudes, to prove that they enjoy being single, but once they get a man, all of that goes out of the window because they feel like they have arrived. So these self-proclaimed independent woman talk all the talk in the world, but give them the choice to have a man that provides for them and they'll take it.

Women could really learn from men and just live. We have nothing to prove for being single. We don't need books to tell us how to be happy with our "man-less lives." A woman should be happy in all situations because they all involve the same thing, her.

Look What God Has Done...

I never thought the The Color Purple would be my favorite book, my favorite, movie, and my favorite musical. For those of you who hate or can't stand the singing in musicals, you don't know what you're missing. The Color Purple is by far the best musical I've ever seen, and I've seen my share of professional productions. The singing was A-MA-ZING!!!! All of the cast members sang their hearts out, it was truly incredible.

I must admit that when I heard about the possibility of a musical version of Alice Walker's The Color Purple, I was very skeptical. I just felt they should leave the story alone. I didn't want some songwriter to compose cheesy songs for such a compelling and complex story. Fortunately, my nightmare did not come true. Now, many of you know I'm a big fan of singing, only good singing. Well, the singing voices of The Color Purple were GREAT, and I'm not exaggerating. I still can't get over the tight harmony, especially by the three key church ladies (you'll know what I mean if you go see it).

What amazes me is that the two adaptations of the book (the film and the musical) both embody the characters and tell the story effectively, but in different ways. The musical follows the book a lot closer than the movie does but it still incorporated most of the key lines in the movie. The relationship (yes, a love relationship) between the characters Celie and Shug is a lot more in-depth than the way the movie depicts it. It was a little shocking at first, but it is Broadway, men kiss men and women kiss women a lot on those stages. All in all, the story was told perfectly. So for me, the musical was everything I expected plus more.

I just want to say to everyone, but in particular the black people in my generation, we have to support black people in the arts. Those of you may not know that this show was about to be canned until Oprah's money and pull and producer credits came about. The show started in Atlanta (I guess they figured the black folks down there would support it) back in 2004 but it wasn't receiving a lot of publicity and it's success looked hopeless. Needless to say, it's receiving all of the publicity and rave reviews in the world now.

I'm just glad to say that I was able to support this production. Hopefully everyone will be able to see this musical.

And like the finale of the musical says, "Look what God has done."

It's Okay to be Bitter

For a long time I was labeled as a bitter woman. I guess the way I used to talk about the opposite sex always sounded...well, negative. I never thought I was that hard on them, but even my female friends used to think I had a chip on my shoulder. Well, maybe they were all right. However, even if they were right, why is it so bad to be a bitter woman from time to time?

Bitterness to me is like a purging experience. It allows you to release all of the frustration that is caused by the anguish of rejection, the disappointments of Mr. Right turning out to be Totally Mr. Wrong, or the realization of "He's Just Not That Into You." We all experience this, we all become frustrated by bad timing, so why can't we all experience bitterness?

Well, if you ask me, we can. Bitterness is a recognition of the bad past but it should also be the anticipation of a hopeful future. In life we have to go through the bad experiences in order to appreciate the good ones. I used to think that way of thinking was a load of crap but in reality, it is so very true. The only problem is that we should not dwell in the bad experiences, only recognize them for the learning lessons that they are. That is the problem with some bitter people. They become so complacent in that negative state to the point where they don't even believe the positive will exist. Life is full of twists and turns, it's not always going to be easy, if you can accept that then you can enjoy the ride. So, in all, bitterness is perfectly fine, just in small portions.

Now don't get my wrong, bitterness is not just a female trait. I've met plenty of bitter men in my life, especially one's with emotional baggage from bad relationships. Men complain about the lack of good women just as much as women complain about the lack of good men. It seems like the good men are missing the good women because the bad men and women are perpetrators who pose as good people. It's a very complex situation that will never become simple. It takes a lot of time to find that good match, but believing you will find that person is half the battle.

Bitterness however should not alter your behavior when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. In other words, don't fall in to the trap that most bitter people fall victim to, the endless pit of empty relationships. Becoming a ho is not the remedy for a time of unhappiness (I'm talking to males and females because both sexes tend to do this). If you take this route, you're letting your bitterness get the best of you, and that's not good. Bitterness should be a state of being at a particular time in your life, not a lifestyle.

Therefore, bitterness is fine but only in small portions. Those bad experiences are only helping you to narrow down your choices more and more. They are just learning experiences that everyone has, you just have to use those situations wisely.

Livin' My Life Like It's Golden

So, I performed one of my "black duties" tonight: I supported a movie that starred two black characters, in a positive way. Those are very rare, so we as black people have to support them every chance we get. The movie is Last Holiday; no sex, no violence, a few choice words but they were all in fun. The moral of the movie was, to live your life to the fullest. Of course, the wheels in my mind started turning, and I started asking myself...do I have what it takes to live my life to the fullest?

Lot's of people believe that to live that way is a "gutsy" move. We like to live on the safe side and make every decision cautiously. Taking a risk is looked at as something rebels do, we don't equate it with people who enjoy life and want to experience new things. I believe living a normal, standard, no thrills life leads to a lot of unhappiness. We should all just follow our hearts and do what makes us feel good, despite what people may say.

If a person wants to go backpacking in the Alps, they should do it. If they want to be a singer, they should at least try it. If they want to work on television, they should go for it. Anything is possible. Most people receive their big breaks through chance happenings. You're never going to have a chance if you don't make things happen.

Ultimately, money is always on our minds when we make decisions. Yes, it is a practical way of thinking, but should money be a huge concern when you're in your 20s. You have your whole life to live and to work, raise a family, make a difference, etc, etc. We shouldn't let money or that good government job rule how we live our lives. Think about it, when you die, where's that money going to go, not with you to the after-life. Now don't go out, and blow all of your money, but don't just sit at home singing your "shoulda-coulda-wouldas"; that will make you even more depressed.

So, in a nut shell - don't be afraid of failure, rejection is not that bad (because it won't always happen), go for the gold, ask that cute girl or cute guy out, do what makes you feel good (not what makes you look good), if you're not happy then move on, you should not be forced to be a "stick in the mud"). Enjoy life, enjoy yourself...that's when the fun begins.

Can Black People Be Serious?

For those who don't know, I'm a big fan of television. Ever since I was a youngster I would sit down in front of the "idiot box" (my grandmother's favorite name for it); but for me, it was more than that. At times TV was educational for me, but for the most part it was pure entertainment. I could always find a television character that I could relate to in some form or fashion. I enjoyed the laughs, all of the laughs, that good and quality television provided, especially when I saw my own people portrayed on the screen. They could always make me laugh. However, as I grew older I realized, black people were rarely portrayed on television as serious human beings with real life issues.

Can anyone tell me one good black drama that lasted more than two seasons? Some might say New York Undercover but Malik Yoba was the only main black character on that show, the only positive one, since he arrested so many criminals that looked like him. I don't know if any of you remember 413 Hope St. or City of Angels (not the movie), but those two shows started off good, but they didn't last. Now Soul Food was a successful black drama, but where did they put it, on a cable station that not many people, especially black people, would be able to access. It seems like the only drama black people have is family drama.

Even majority of our black movies, successful black movies, fall into the comedy genre. Unfortunately, many of them have been disappointments (Soul Plane could be it's own blog topic but I'm not going to give it the time of day). Also, if it's a comedy, it's normally a romantic comedy, or there's some romance involved with the comedy. So basically, black people can only make you laugh and they make you laugh because of their comical relationship issues.

However, it is argued that because of low ratings in the black television audience, the black dramas do not last. So do we as black people find it hard to take each other seriously? Why don't we demand to see a variety of black dramas, especially when we complain about the ignorant comedies that are out today. We can easily have our own version of a black law firm, a black hospital, a black community center, a black church, (even though that's another stigma on black movies and television shows). I guess that's why it's a dream of mine to create a black drama, that will not be put on a cable network and will not be on the typical black television station (UPN, for those who don't know). So, look out for my debut, or if it's not me, I hope somebody gets to do it. Remember, black people used to be seen on the major networks. It seems like our respect has gone down; let's integrate...again.

First Impressions

I'll just come right out and say it, people think I'm stuck up...when they first meet me; but all of that seems to change once they get to know me. The funny thing is, I'll think those same people were stuck up when I first met them. So then, my pondering mind wonders, which came first? Me being stuck up, or the other person being stuck up? Honestly, it's all relative.
I always ask people to clarify what makes someone stuck up, and surprise surprise, it's never anything concrete. Here are some examples of an answer:
"Well, I don't know, it was the way she said 'Hi' to me that one time."
"You kind of made a weird look when you walked into the room."
"I'm not really sure, he just stayed with his friends, and never branched out, or said hi to me." (Mind you, the person never tried to say hi either)
Tell me, do these answers really show any substantial evidence of someone being stuck up. Typically, you could meet somebody on the wrong day and that's why they might not seem so pleasant at first. Or, when you meet people for the first time, you're going to naturally be weary of them because you're feeling them out as a person. We're human, we have emotions and those emotions will show on a bad day or a good day. Of course, various interpretation of one's tone or behavior is going to be different for every person. I could think someone is the nicest person in the world, while someone else might think that they are a total "you-know-what." Also, have you noticed that if someone is nice the first time you meet them, you think something's wrong with them. Most people think they're being fake or that they're hiding something. So it's pretty much a lose-lose situation, if you're stand-offish, you're stuck up, if you're too friendly, you're fake.
I try to not even stick with my first impressions of people. (It's a struggle because you're always going to remember the bitter taste they left in your mouth). I know that we are never truly ourselves when we first meet people because we all feel the need to put on this front in the beginning. We go in to a situation, protecting ourselves from being taken advantage of, with the "Don't start nothin, won't be nothin" mentality. Why can't we just be ourselves, all the time? Well maybe we don't like who we really are, so we try to change our personalities to impress people, but if you're not yourself, how can you expect to start a genuine relationship with people.
With all this being said, let's first accept people for who they are, most people aren't stuck up, but a whole lot of people are labeled as being such. Just take time to get to know people, eventually you'll see them for who they are and you'll understand them better.

Women Don't Respect Themselves

Ok, I'm sure we've all seen the VH1 News special, Hip Hop Videos: Sexploitation on the Set. If you haven't, look it up. Basically, the show told the ins and outs of what happens on the set and behind the scenes at the taping of hip hop music videos, mainly from the perspective of the video vixens. Also, the author of Confessions of a Video Vixen, Karrine Steffans, was able to tell her side of the story, which is told in more detail in her book. (Why she felt the need to write a book and still make money from tell-all stories about her sexual acts, who knows). However, as I watched the show, for the second time, I became frustrated and outraged. I was sickened by the sight of my black sisters exploiting their bodies just to be seen 15 seconds on a little television screen. For what?
I in no way would totally blame the male-driven hip hop industry; however, they do need to take some of the blame as well. I firmly believe that many of these women suffer from low self-esteem and they were never taught to respect themselves. Who in their right mind makes it a lifetime goal to be in a video and to be recognized for their body. Some say it opens the door for them to get into the entertainment business. If you want to be an actress, singer, dancer, model, then do just that. Take acting classes, take singing lessons, go to a dance class, and take your portfolio to a modeling agency, don't go for the quick fix. Because the quicker you get in to the business, the quicker you'll get washed out.
In our society women are taught to sell their bodies. Look at the clothes that have strategically placed writing on the T&A area of the body. Why do we need to walk around with shirts that say "delicious" or "bootylicious"? Really, someone tell me, what is the point. Even low-rise jeans which we are forced to wear because that's the only style of jeans that the clothing industry is selling right now. We might as well just walk around in our underwear, because that's how skimpy the clothes are now. Most women today look like hookers on the street, and I don't like it.
The club scene. Tell me if this sounds familiar. An uneven ratio of men to women at the club, the women are in the center dancing while the men stand up against the wall scoping out the girl who has the best "meat", the girls are showing cleavage galore and wearing tight fitted low-rise pants that show their thong when they bend over and the men are wearing baggy jeans and two layers of shirts that hide their physique, the girl who can "drop it like it's hot" will dance with the majority of men at the club while the girl who just wants to do the simple two step is looked over. Tell me, what's wrong with that picture. Women need to stop with the lame excuse that they're dressing that way for themselves, ladies, admit it, we're program to dress that way to catch a man's eye, because we're programmed to be in competition with each other...which brings me to my next point.
Flava of Love has to be the worst show for women on the face of this earth. It is filled with insecure, low self-esteem, confused women who are competiting for a washed-up celebrity's "love". How do you compete for love, either it's there or it isn't? These women were obviously scorned at some point in their lives, so they're searching for attention, but they ended up in the wrong place. For instance, one woman was brought to tears after she reminisced about a broken marriage in which her husband told her, to her face, "You're not the one...I'm not in love with you." So now, she's on this show, looking for love, in all the wrong places. But the charming Flava Flav, a man who can't even remember their birth given names, gives them "cute" nicknames that describe their personality or the way their body looks. Would you really want to love a man who doesn't even take the time to remember your real name?
Hopefully, No is your answer.
Women, it is time to wake up. Don't blame the man, blame yourself for allowing someone to treat you like dirt, and pass you around like a little toy. Don't let a man call you out of your name and keep your eye out for the dirty tricks they like to play. And men, stop taking advantage of these insecure women, what does that say about you and your manhood if you sleep with a woman who doesn't respect herself, maybe that means you don't respect yourself enough to have a substantial relationship with a woman who does respect herself. Somebody has to end this viscious cycle, who's up for it?

Introduction

So, this is the beginning, of my rant. Comments on everyday life experiences is what this blog is for, for those who want to contribute, use it wisely.